Friends, Partners & Lovers, by Kevin A. Thompson, tells the reader what it takes to make a marriage work. It is not just a book for those who are struggling in their marriage, it is also a great resource for any one who is married or going to be married.
The author points out that the number one cause of divorce is that the marriage died because one or both of the spouses neglected to intentionally invest in the marriage. In a healthy marriage both spouses play the roles of friends, partners and lovers. By doing this, we let our spouse know that we will always be by their side, we will always have their back and we let them know someone will always see their soul. Being a good spouse takes time and is demanding. Unless we play all three roles we are failing to give our spouse everything we promise, and everything they deserve.
The author states that healthy marriages do not have less conflict, rather they have more positive interaction. He also states that if both partners are willing, a marriage can radically change. But you can’t change your marriage by trying to change your spouse. You can pray for a change in your spouse, but you must start with a change in yourself. The conclusion of the book gives us eight questions to think about, to see if there are areas in our lives that we need to change.
I enjoyed reading some of the personal things the author puts in the book. The one thing that stands out most in my mind is that he felt he could tell how the marriage will last by how the couple feeds each other the cake at the wedding. I think back at weddings I have been to and seen couples “smash” the cake into their spouse, while other weddings the couple have been so respectful that if they get frosting on their spouse, they take a napkin and clean their spouse’s face. I have not thought of this before, but it makes sense that those who take care with their spouse show more respect and love.
Another thing that is pointed out in this book is that your spouse needs to be your friend. But they cannot be your only friend. You need other friends that you can turn to, that you can talk with about things that your spouse does not care to talk about.
This is a good book for married, or soon to be married people. I really think this book is one that should be recommended at marriage enrichment classes or counseling. There are some points within the book that may offend the reader, as the author goes deep in how we need to treat our spouse and what we need to do to help our marriage. To get the most out of this book, I feel it should be one shared by both spouses, and not just read by one. In my opinion, if only one is going to read the book, it will be the one who is putting in the most work to make a marriage work. And some points in the book may make they sit back and think about things that are not being done in their marriage. As well as things they deserve in their marriage that they are not getting from their spouse. Each chapter ends with “Be Intentional” questions that will make you really sit and think.
I received a copy of this book from Revell Publishing and I have written an honest review.
Publisher: Revell Publishing
To read more about the author, go to: http://www.kevinathompson.com/
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